Snape's Home Movies
by maraudersforever81
Summary: Lily is over for dinner at Snape's parents house to meet them for the first time. His mother has some very interesting memories to show to her through the pensive...


**AN: here is a lil oneshot! R&R please!**

Snivelly's Home Movies

"So are you excited about meeting my parents?" I asked Lily as we strolled along the sidewalk to their house. Lily had been my girlfriend for three whole months now and I was smugly glad that she chose me over Potter! I had pined after for years and years, but I was definitely triumphant on the first date. We were going to my parents' house for a steak dinner…I just hoped my mother wouldn't do anything embarrassing.

"Oh, Severus, you're home! And is this Lily?" my mother asked as she welcomed us warmly into her home. My father sauntered out of his study.

"Ah, Severus, this is your magnificent Lily?" he inquired. Lily blushed as I put my arm around her waist.

"Yes. Father, Mother, meet Lily Evans, the love of my life," I replied, giving her a peck on the cheek. She blushed an even deeper crimson and smiled shyly at them. My mother beamed.

"Well, dinner should be ready now," she said, beckoning us to follow her into the candle lit dining room. We followed obediently.

"So," she began with a gossipy tone, "How many times have you two…?" She trailed off, looking at us expectantly with raised eyebrows.

"_Mother!_" I hissed angrily.

"What?" she asked innocently. She wisely dropped the subject. My father began to talk of work with Lily, as they were both healers. My mother and I just listened politely. Then it came time for dessert, when my mother brought out a strawberry cheesecake. We all complimented her as we devoured the cake. Mother's eyes lighted up after we had finished. As I was just settling back into my chair, she said,

"I have something to show everyone!" she said _everyone _although her eyes rested on Lily. I got a bad feeling in the pit of my stomach…

She led us into the living room, where there was a large pensive in the middle of the room. It stood there, emitting a soft blue illumines glow and the occasional string of smoke would waft from the pensive. My mother continued to walk towards it.

"Now, Lily, here are some of Severus's memories. I am sure you will enjoy them!"

Oh my Merlin! How did she GET those! I was about to Avada mother, but she dragged us into the pensive with her. I could do nothing to stop it, because mother had her bony hands firmly clamped on our arms. Oh Merlin, save me!

The first memory was bad, but definitely not the worst. I was furious, Lily was blushing, and mother was smiling reminiscently.

_I was in my…eh…birthday suit. I laughed, and made a very loud fart. My mother picked my up and said,_

"_Oh, Sevypoo, did you make a stinky?" while tickling my feet. I giggled in response, and she laughed along too. "You are such a little cutie pie!" she cooed, stroking my black fuzz that you might call hair. Now it's time for lunch honeykins! Are you hungry, baby?"_

Finally, we moved on to the next memory.

"_Severus, come and show us please!" Mother called up the stairs._

"_No!" I retorted from my upstairs bedroom._

"_GET DOWN HERE NOW!" Mother screeched. This outburst was followed by slow, loud thuds; the sound of me plodding down the stairs._

Oh Merlin. I remember this one now…

_Then I came into view, wearing the most embarrassing, fluffy, pink, disturbingly disgusting, did I mention pink?, bunny onesie. I was quite the unhappy child. This was from when I was around nine, and that was not cool to be wearing an onesie. My face was set in a deep scowl, and anger burned furiously in my eyes._

"_Oh, Severues! That is just so _darling_! Oh, oh, come closer, dear," she cried, smiling with happiness. I think she just liked seeing me extremely unhappy. I trudged forward, and my glower deepened. _

"_Oh, let's get a picture!" she added with a wicked smile as she whipped out her camera._

"_Smile, honey!" I didn't. I just frowned even deeper and bowed my head. She took the picture, and looked at in the preview, beaming. "I just have to take this to work!" she exclaimed. _

She did take it, if you were wondering. Lily was biting her lip so hard it was bleeding, just so she wouldn't laugh. I was so angry I wouldn't speak. I think this will be our last date….

"_Go, Severus, _go_!" my father encouraged, waving me on to continue. This was my first time on a broom, I was doing ok—for my first time—but when I turned slightly to wave back, I ran straight into a big fir tree. My broom was smashed to bits, and so was my nose. I was falling, falling, falling…then I fell into the river, with a big splash._

Let's see what the next torture session will be…

"_Mother! I finished my potion!" I yelled up the stiars. This was the summer after my first year. My mother lightly stepped down the stairs and appeared, beaming._

"_Let's see it then!" I just smiled and gave it the last final stir, then drained the flask. It was supposed to make me invisible…but it didn't. Instead, my clothes started disintegrating…ever so slowly…until I was naked. I let out the most hi pitched, girlish scream imaginable and sprinted upstairs. You could just make out my mother's muffled laughter._

Lily was shielding her eyes. And I could hear her giggle quietly. The next one was quite recent…

_I woke up and slowly stretched, only in boxers. I heard this weird noise downstairs, so I slowly shuffled into the kitchen, and froze. There was a beautiful busty blond reporter, with a lot of cameras, mind you, interviewing my mother on her job at the ministry. _

"_Uhhh…"I said extremely intelligently._

"_Well, hello," she greeted with a wink._

_Then I had the worst hard on ever. And the cameras immediately started flashing away. I was rooted to the spot, so I couldn't move! I finally managed to dart back up the stairs…that was in the _Prophet _the next day._

Finally, mother decided to remove us from our misery. Lily was full out chortling now, and I was so mad I slapped my _own mother_ in the face. The gave me the worst glare, then stalked away in a huff.

"Wooooow…I don't know what to say!" Lily cried, wiping her eyes.

"Sorry…" I muttered.

She just giggled some more. "It's fine. A lot of parents do that, my mum did that to Petunia when her boyfriend came over," she said. "Only they were home movies," lily added with a frown.

"Movies?" I asked curiously.

"You make them by using this device, and it records them on a disk called a DVD. Then you put the DVD into a TV to view them anytime you want. They're very popular. My parents like to document a lot of things on DVD's," she expained patiently. I just nodded dumbly.

"Thanks for coming," I said as I led her out the door. She apperated with a grin, and once she had left, I punched a hole in the wall. That was definitely the last date…

"AAHHHHHHHHHHH!" I woke up from the terrible dream with the wet sheets entangling me. I was panting and breathing heavily.

"What a nightmare…"I whispered, shaking. The whole day, I couldn't stop thinking about "home movies".

_Au revior…_


End file.
